


Reverberation

by NoraNat



Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, M/M, but ill just warn that there's death and revival here!, im not gonna tag alot because spoilers and i want this to be a rollercoaster ride, kaede is like the only one which appears for more than one scene, rated teen to play it safe pfpf
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-03
Updated: 2019-09-03
Packaged: 2020-10-06 07:47:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20503391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoraNat/pseuds/NoraNat
Summary: What would it take to be someone’s guardian angel?





	Reverberation

**Author's Note:**

> This is my Saiou week "Day 3: Alternate universe" entry, I kinda used the prompt in a very different way than intended- All I'll say is that I hope you enjoy reading this!

_Walking in water while wearing clothes wasn’t exactly the most pleasant activity, but for some reason, that’s exactly what he has been doing. For how long? No idea honestly, it was like he just suddenly glitched out of reality to find himself standing in the middle of nowhere. It was so bright around him, with what seemed like huge sugar cubes floating in mid-air, and the white floor was just covered with knee-deep water making it harder to progress to his destination._

_What *was* his destination?_

_The flash of a different colour than the sparkly whites and bright blues caught his attention, in the distance he can see the familiar silhouette of a classmate. Dark feathery hair not resisting the slightest hint of wind, and a short stature giving its owner the advantage of easily escaping anyone who stood in his way._

_He tried walking towards the friend he had come to know, remembering all the times they hung out together, at first it was him trying to figure the other out because he was such a mystery, and even though he gave him headaches his company was fun after he started to understand him. They naturally became friends, just like he did to all his classmates, but lately this particular friend has been really distant. It worried him._

_Somehow, his legs started giving up on walking, but the detective was insistent on reaching the leader._

_He extended a hand towards the boy’s back, “Ouma-kun!” and tried calling for him._

_His classmate heard that, the tips of his feathery hair slightly jumping at the sound. As always, when he turned around he had that fake smile plastered on his face, it was like a sticker that just wouldn’t come off. Another reason for his concerns…_

_The water around him decided to go turbulent the moment he tried using his voice again, making him look around confused, and when he looked up to his friend a silent gasp escaped him. It wasn’t because the boy didn’t seem phased at all, but because a giant wave was forming behind him._

_He immediately gathered the strength to run towards his classmate to get him out of there, but he got as far as to hold his hand when the wave collapsed on them both. He tried standing up again but his feet couldn’t find the ground, and somehow he wasn’t holding onto the shorter boy’s hand anymore._

_Opening his eyes underwater while holding his breath, he tried looking for him. Only to find his familiar figure floating away to the depth of whatever water dimension they were in. _

_He needed oxygen, but his heart didn’t think twice before trying to swim towards his friend. He will get him back up with him no matter what. Not sure where that determination came from but he knew the boy was important to him._

_His vision started blacking out, body really needing oxygen, but just a bit closer…. Just…_

……………

Shuichi woke up that morning with a deep gasp of air bolting him straight into a seating position with a hand on his chest, heaving a bit as his lungs took in as much oxygen as they possibly can.

His room was submerged in darkness, save for the bit of faint blue light coming from between his black curtains as the sun was on its way to start rising. A glance at his digital clock showed that he has a bit more time to sleep, but honestly… thanks to that dream he was now wide awake.

Of course it was a dream, how could he have not figured it out? Then again he’s not to blame if his brain casually keeps dismissing how he found himself in such a bizarre situation. Walking in water with no direction, and forgetting reality completely.

He reached out to a bottle of water he had put on his bedside table, he may have felt like he was drowning a couple of seconds ago but his mouth was dry and needed some moisture if he wants to focus on remembering the events of his dream...

Truth is, this wasn’t the first time Shuichi has had that dream, ever since the beginning of this month he had the same premise but with multiple variations. They were all about trying to reach out and or protect Kokichi, only to fail then wake up confused.

The dreams can’t be some kind of bad premonition but… as a detective he couldn’t help but feel worried enough to try to solve the mystery of the recurring dreams about Ouma Kokichi.

Maybe it’s just him missing the other’s company, his carefree laugh as he told another lie. It’s not like he has been completely ignoring Shuichi, he acknowledges his presence and greets him in his Kokichi ways, but he doesn’t stay long. They never really have conversations anymore, and every time Shuichi tries now Kokichi ends up saying he’s too busy.

No idea why it hurt him so much, others like Maki and Kaito would say that it’s good riddance. It’s just that he keeps wondering if he did something wrong, if he hurt him by mistake, he wants to apologize but how can he when he doesn’t know what he’s apologizing for?

Still, even with all these troubled feelings, Shuichi can’t help but feel like there’s more to the dreams than just longing.

* * *

“Um, Saihara-kun, don’t you think you’re staring at Ouma-kun too intensely? The whole class has noticed you by now..” Kaede asked him out of nowhere, her sudden presence almost making him drop his book.

After that morning the purple-haired boy has unsurprisingly invaded his thoughts for hours, which again was actually not the first time of it happening. If only he knew how much he worried Shuichi…

_“I killed you with worry right?”_

The detective sighed as his face heated up and tried to focus on the matter at hand, “E-everyone? Was I that obvious?” he put down the book he was hiding behind on the table. He has been trying his best to check on the boy and see if anything he was doing was suspicious, but his observations were just futile in the end. The only out of the ordinary thing about Kokichi was the way he would avoid Shuichi at all costs, borderline treating him like a stranger.

Which weirdly enough would make Shuichi’s mouth dry from emotions he can’t truly understand. A new level to sadness probably, it would hurt anyone if their classmate treated them like that all of a sudden.

“So you _were_ staring at him, I thought I was imagining things for a second.” The blonde giggled, happy to get her truth from him.

“Akamatsu-san…” His face heated up again at falling for her lie and exposing himself, should be more careful next time. As he glanced at the boy for a second, he saw him still writing in his notebook with the same fake smile as the one he saw in the dream. It was like Kokichi had a rare case of resting fake smile face, _if that was a thing._

That glance didn’t go unnoticed by Kaede, her face coloured with worry. “Is something wrong? I’m not really a huge fan of that expression.” His best friend asked, and he wondered what expression she was talking about. It seems his confusion was clear as she spoke again, “You look a bit sad, did Ouma-kun do something to you?”

“Ah- no it’s nothing like that, it’s just…”

Hold on, Kaede noticed him looking at Kokichi, _but Kokichi didn’t?_

“That’s it!”

“Uh, what’s exactly ‘it’ Saihara-kun?” Kaede asked with a clearly confused expression.

He turned to look at him again, “don’t you think Ouma-kun has been acting weirdly Akamatsu-san?” She still didn’t get what he was on about, “shouldn’t he have noticed us looking at him by now?”

Kaede was shocked by his sentence, finally realizing what he meant. “You’re right! Ouma-kun is smarter and more perceptive than he lets out to be. Every time someone stares at his direction he’d call them out and tease them even if it was purely a mistake.”

Shuichi nodded, if there was anyone who would know how preceptive Kokichi is it would be him. The leader would tease him constantly whenever their eyes would meet, or if he was staring at him. (Kokichi just maybe… looked cute… sometimes. He felt like such a creep for staring but it was purely involuntary.) The fact he doesn’t even notice him when he’s staring now, made that uneasy feeling attack his heart full force. It felt painful the more he stared at the boy, but he really, _really_ wanted to know what’s wrong.

A teacher entered the class breaking him out of his thoughts, and motioning Kaede to return to her seat. “I’ll talk to you more about it at lunch.” His best friend gave him a thumbs up and hurried to her chair before she gets yelled at.

Shuichi sighed again as he ran a hand through his no longer tidy hair (He didn’t care at this point) knowing full well he won’t be able to focus in class because a certain someone has been occupying his mind for a month now. Seems like ignoring it just isn’t going to work, his anxiousness and mess of emotions has reached its peak. Feels like he needs to do something about this today, or it will be too late and he’ll lose Kokichi forever, and that was something… he would never accept.

* * *

Shuichi and Kaede were sitting with Maki, Kaito, and Kiibo when the detective decided to share his current predicament with them, it was obvious to all of them that something was on Shuichi’s mind (if the messy hair, panda eyes, and disheveled school clothes weren’t enough evidence) and while the others wouldn’t pry him on it, Kaito definitely wouldn’t keep quiet until Shuichi spilled the beans so the to-be-astronaut can help his sidekick.

“Um, I’m worried about Ouma-kun....” he wanted to close his eyes so that he wouldn’t witness the expressions on their faces, but decided to be strong. They asked for his feelings and if they didn’t like it then it’s their fault… right?

“Worried about _Ouma?_” Kaito was clearly surprised, along with everyone else except the pianist.

Maki clearly didn’t like the subject of the topic, but as she swallowed her food she looked Shuichi straight in the eye, “What exactly are you worried about?” she actually respects his feelings, that made him relieved at least. Maybe he can really talk about his worries without any of them judging him.

“He’s just been acting… out of the ordinary.”

“Mhm, he can’t even tell when someone is staring right into his back!” Kaede chimed in.

Kaito blinked, “Really?”

“I can actually attest to that, if I may give my two cents on this.” Kiibo joined, “I have noticed Ouma-kun spacing out yesterday while cleaning the board after class, when I asked if something was wrong he called me a creep for staring. But the fact he didn’t notice me earlier, and his expression to top it all off was really concerning.”

So it’s not only with him, that kind of relieved Shuichi. Since a small part of his heart was scared that Kokichi was pretending not to see him on purpose.

“What if this was all just another lie of his? You know, to mess with you since you’re the only one in this class who would notice.” Kaito muttered.

Shuichi shook his head “No, I’m certain…” They all looked at him for the sudden confidence in his words, so he told them the truth “I’ve been having these recurring dreams, and Ouma-kun was in all of them.”

He could feel his heartbeat faster at the mention of those dreams, or nightmares. It’s been a month of having them and he never really told anyone because he didn’t want to be a burden, but with how they kept happening again and again, gave him more and more anxiety every day. He would try so hard to confront Kokichi, but he wasn’t strong enough, felt like a huge part of his life was missing, like he wasn’t supposed to be this weak.

He may have gotten over his hat and removed it, but sometimes he really wished he could hide under it again.

If he did though… he knew he would feel like shit for going back to a piece of fabric.

“Recurring dreams?” Maki asked, breaking him out of the spiral he was entering. It’s a wonder how he hasn't broken down in front of them yet.

“Um, yes. They are all the same, I find him, he gets in danger, I try to help, then I fail…” If only they knew just how real they felt, just how many ways to die he has experienced in those dreams, and just how many times he had drowned.

Silence befell the friend group, seeing just how serious their friend was about the whole situation. Kaito spoke up, and his words struck a chord of fear in his heart, something he has been denying as best as he could. “Doesn’t recurring dreams mean your subconscious is trying to tell you something?”

“I believe so.” Kaede agreed.

_“If… if they really mean something, does that mean something is going to happen to Ouma-kun?”_

“Saihara? Are you breathing?” Maki was worried to see just how blue his face has turned, he really didn’t mean to say his thoughts out loud but with how fast his heart was hammering for no reason… he was coming to a bunch of conclusions on the spot.

Kaede and Kaito almost rushed from their places to help him breathe, while Kiibo and Maki wanted to help but didn’t know how so they could only stop eating and hope he’s alright. Shuichi hated being like this in front of them, he felt weak.

He closed his eyes and everyone’s voices got drowned out as he recalled a memory.

_ “Agh! This is boring I can’t take it anymore!” Kokichi wailed as he tried doing his homework. Still sitting in school even after classes were over for the day. _

_ Shuichi raised an eyebrow as he looked over to see that Kokichi hadn’t written a single thing, and was doodling the whole time. “Ouma-kun… I know you can solve these problems in a matter of seconds.” _

_ “I thought this school was for cultivating talents, not frying my brain!” _

_ “It’s just this one exam we have to go through for the ministry, we are lucky compared to students who have to go through them constantly.” _

_ Kokichi let out an exaggerated groan, but then got up turned his chair to face Shuichi and his desk. _

_ The detective turned red at the sudden way Kokichi’s eyes were on him, as he stared into those violet eyes he forced himself to break eye contact and lower his hat. The leader had other plans though as he laid his head on Shuichi’s table, able to look at him no matter how much he tried to hide. _

_ “I’m saying I’m boreeed, Saihara-chan.” _

_ “Then why did you stay after class to study with me if it’s boring?” _

_ Kokichi fell silent after that, but after a few moments of pure confusion from Shuichi and not being able to understand what the purple head was thinking. He heard his voice again, “Maybe I just enjoy Saihara-chan’s company.” _

_ He felt his heart skip a beat at that. _

_ But then Kokichi raised his head with a “But that’s a lie! I just wanted to bother Saihara-chan and distract him from studying so he doesn’t get better grades than me!” _

_ The detective blinked at how sudden everything was before smiling warmly and reaching out to pat the shorter boy’s fluffy head. “I enjoy Ouma-kun’s company as well.” _

_ Kokichi’s face went blank for a moment, before breaking into a grin, “Too bad that feeling isn’t mutual!” He kept up with his lie as he laid his head on the desk again. _

_ When Shuichi retracted his hand Kokichi held onto it, “More.” Who knew the supreme leader of evil liked to be pet? _

_ They ended up staying for a couple of hours there as Kokichi snoozed on his desk while Shuichi played with his hair with one hand and solved his homework with the other. _

As he opened his eyes again, heartbeat slowing down from the race it was running a moment ago, Shuichi found two pairs of purple eyes staring at him. Kaede and Kaito wondering if he was alright.

He nodded and muttered a thank you, making them smile again at him. He felt horrible for worrying them like that. He sighed for the millionth time that day, “Sorry, about that…”

“Hey man it’s alright, friends are supposed to be here for you.” Kaito gave him a thumbs-up, and Shuichi smiled. He can see the corners of Maki’s mouth turn up slightly, he must’ve worried her too.

Kiibo put a hand on his shoulder, “I know it can be scary but I think you should try to talk to Ouma-kun just so your conscience is clear.”

The memory that just flashed in Shuichi’s brain, it reminded him of the bond he had with Kokichi. Everything Kokichi does is for a reason, and he’s just been running away from confronting him about the problem. Terrified of Kokichi hating him so he gave him space… But no more, he refuses to lose a friend like that.

“Yes I’ll make sure to talk to him, it’s a promise.”

“And we know you don’t break promises.” Kaede giggled.

He always needed an excuse to drive himself to do something, and promising someone always worked because he just can’t bring himself to break promises. He will treat this promise as a thank you for his friends, for helping him through his panic, letting him talk about it, and making him build enough resolve to finally act instead of watch and hurt from the sidelines.

* * *

After class Shuichi stayed until everyone left to reveal that he is still in the school with Kokichi, he knew it was his week to clean up their classroom, and even then Kokichi for some reason stays in the school until he is practically kicked out. It made him wonder if he isn’t excited to go home like everyone else.

He would've asked him if it weren’t for the fact they drifted apart due to the supreme leader distancing himself…

Shuichi entered the classroom to find Kokichi cleaning the board, looking clearly out of it, his eyes were dull, and his face was blank to the point it was eerie. Maybe this was what Kiibo saw the day before?

It took until Shuichi sat and put his bag down for Kokichi to freeze and turn his head to see who’s there, the look of absolute terror on his face when he recognized the perpetrator was something Shuichi would have never expected in a million years. It only lasted a second though as his face broke into his usual damned fake smile.

“Oh Saihara-chan you sneaky rat! I thought someone came to kill me from behind, but I know you’re too much of a pussy to do something like that. Nishishi!”

Fake, everything about him seemed so fake, from his expression to his words. All of his classmates wouldn't think twice about his behavior, but to Shuichi who has known for a while now that Kokichi is just a harmless classmate trying to make life more interesting, he can finally tell what about him is fake or not.

“Sorry if I scared you, I just want to talk to you about something.”

Kokichi didn’t even look at him, he had his eyes closed the whole time with that smile of his. “Oh? well, I’m sorry to inform you that this supreme leader is extremely busy today, meetings and causing havoc y'know!” he dusted off his hands and headed towards the window, eyes still closed.

“You have been extremely busy for a month now.” Shuichi stood up from his seat and made his way towards the shorter boy, he knew Kokichi is going to try escaping again but not this time.

The leader put a hand on the windowsill, “Well I am a supreme leader of evil, of course I'd be-” he was cut off when he felt a hand over his, preventing him from opening the window. Kokichi finally opened his eyes and looked at Shuichi. “Ha, if Saihara-chan wanted to touch me that badly he could've just said so, but I don’t want his disgusting constantly sweaty hands on me so I would've refused anyway.” He tried removing his hand, but the taller only held onto it.

“Why do you keep trying to run away? Did I do something wrong?” Shuichi asked, holding onto the boy's hand firmly but not hard enough so if he wanted to slip it out he could. Surprisingly, he didn’t, but his face turned threatening.

“Isn’t it obvious?” He laughed cruelly “I hate Saihara-chan, I don’t want him anywhere near me.”

Shuichi felt his heart drop, and with it he accidentally dropped Kokichi’s hand from shock.

So Kokichi really hated him? Maybe he finally noticed just how boring he was? Maybe... Shuichi all this time has been overthinking the dreams when they were actually the result of wanting to be close to the guy that distanced himself due to not wanting to be associated with Shuichi anymore.

_ Of course… _

“I see.” Shuichi said, stepping away from him. His face half dark, and his emotions beginning to shut down so he deals with them full force in his room later.

Kokichi's face went from threatening to innocent and happy in a matter of seconds. “Good! I’m happy you understand!” He said as he finally opened the window, turning around from him. “Imma get going now, toodaloo!” Kokichi jumped from the window, and it was at that moment Shuichi looked back at him rather than the floor.

He saw something unusual, like sparkling water droplets trailing behind the boy who was no longer there. Surely, he couldn't be crying, why would he?

Shuichi was the one who wanted to cry honestly.

From concern he ran to the window and looked down just to make sure, and surely enough he saw Kokichi rubbing his eyes as he rounded a corner and disappeared.

Did he just… lie?

An idiot, Shuichi labeled himself as an idiot immediately. He claimed to know Kokichi better than his class, then doesn't realize the boy is trying to actively push him away and make the detective hate him.

Kokichi isn’t doing this to mess with him, whatever he does is for a reason. Those times they tied over and over was to make Shuichi come and play with him again, with the excuse of “keeping him alive.”

He doesn't hate Shuichi, it was obvious yet he let his words hit his heart immediately. Why did it have that much of an effect on him to the point he couldn’t use his brain anymore? Well, that doesn’t matter, something is wrong with Kokichi and he needs to help him.

With that Shuichi did something no one would expect from him, and climbed out of the window too. He wasn't an expert at building parkour but he knew enough to not hurt himself badly, when he reached the ground safely he ran to the corner he last saw Kokichi in and completely forgot his bag in the class.

* * *

As expected, Kokichi didn't go far. He would always hide somewhere near and trick whoever is looking for him to thinking he had vanished from the area. It was a fact he’d learned from observing the prankster’s hiding spots whenever he ran away from an angry student or teacher.

Shuichi found him sitting in an alleyway, hugging his knees and shaking behind a trashcan.

He slowly approached him, not sure of what to do. Just seeing the usually happy and energetic Kokichi in this condition was about to make him break. Shuichi liked to believe that he was stronger ever since he joined the academy, but at this moment all that confidence was gone and replaced by fear and worry and a whole lot of concern.

It didn’t take long for Kokichi to realize he wasn’t alone, and when he slowly lifted his head up to see if someone is there, Shuichi’s heart broke even more, seeing his red eyes and the tears streaming down his face.

“Wh-what the fuck-” He rubbed his eyes but Shuichi didn’t disappear like a hallucination, “No!” Kokichi stood up, “Get away from me, you're… can’t you take a hint? Why are you here!?” he held onto his hair with borderline panic.

It seems like the situation was much worse than the detective has expected, based on how the boy in front of him was breaking at the seams. If he was being completely honest, this made Shuichi even more scared of the truth, but if he can help Kokichi in any way then he won’t hesitate to face it head-on.

Shuichi held onto his arms to calm him down, “Kokichi!” he called him by his first name so he pays attention, and it worked as the other froze like a deer in headlights, “tell me the truth, why did you want me to hate you? What's going on??”

Blown out pupils in violet wide eyes stared right into him, and Shuichi can clearly read Kokichi’s emotions based on his expression and the way he was basically shaking under his touch. He didn’t want to hurt him… he doesn’t want to scare him or make him feel worse, but he needed to know the truth, because, in every way, shape, and form, Kokichi’s actions were no lie.

“You’re... going to die if you stay close to me idiot!” Shuichi could swear he saw spirals in Kokichi’s eyes as his brows furrowed even more and tried to push him away, but the detective didn’t let go of him.

Shuichi’s going to die?

“What?”

“Just get away from here! It’s about time and I don’t know what it could happen in this locatio-”

At that moment they sensed something falling from above them, aiming right at Kokichi. Shuichi pushed him out of the way so it was going to hit him instead, but Kokichi held onto his hand so that he fell with him and whatever fell from above landed beside them instead. With Kokichi holding onto the detective above him.

“Is that what you meant?” Shuichi said, in shock of what just happened and looking at the broken item, just what even was it and where did it come from?

Kokichi was still holding onto Shuichi, trembling and not able to speak at all. As a detective, Shuichi knows that getting the truth out of people would be much easier when they are vulnerable, but as the shorter boy held onto him for dear life, his heart was overcome with sadness and his mind immediately decided that he would never take advantage of Kokichi’s moment of weakness like that. So he did not question him any further, and instead sat up to have Kokichi in his lap and try his best to calm his friend down.

Whenever he tried to get up to take them somewhere else, the other was too scared, saying something else may happen and the inside of the school is the most dangerous.

That only made Shuichi more confused, if he stayed close to Kokichi he would die? And if the school is the most dangerous place, why does Kokichi spend a lot of time there after classes are over for the day?

He will ask him when he has calmed down, the boy clearly went through a lot already… What matters to Shuichi now is to help him feel better, he won’t fail to save him like in his dreams.

* * *

_ _

After Kokichi could finally breathe properly again and stop shaking in his arms, he fell asleep. Shuichi wondered just how long it has been since the other has gotten some rest based on the black blotches under his eyes. Seems like he hid them with foundation that got washed away by his tears.

Shuichi used this opportunity to pick him up and go to his place, he didn’t know where Kokichi lived and probably no one else did either, but it was getting seriously dark. It can’t be more dangerous staying home than outside, if the someone really was trying to kill them that is.

Thankfully nothing happened on the way back, Shuichi made sure to stay close to others while carrying Kokichi. If some unknown force is out there to kill them then it shouldn’t try to hurt strangers who have nothing to do with it.

When they reached his home Shuichi struggled a bit to get out the keys while Kokichi was occupying both arms, so a neighbor who was happening to pass by helped him (And totally didn’t tease him about “picking up drunk boys” but thankfully knew Shuichi well enough to know he’s not that kind of person and is just helping a friend.)

Shuichi watched as Kokichi slept, happy he was finally getting some rest, but worry gnawed on his heart like crazy. Not to mention what he has told him earlier…

Is he really going to die if he stays close to him? It would make sense why Kokichi would be so paranoid and try to push him away but, the idea is just insane. He still can’t understand what even happened when they were in that alleyway.

Before getting into Hopes Peak Shuichi had a neutral stance on death, he didn’t have a will to live, but he didn’t have a will to die either. It was his friends who changed his mindset, Kaito telling him that his life doesn’t only belong to him but to everyone around him as well.

So now, being told that he would die is scary, just like how it should be for every other human being.

To distract himself from overthinking again. He got up to make them something for dinner, his uncle was on a trip so he had to make food on his own. Which was no problem to Shuichi, thanks to his neglectful parents making him learn how to cook ever since he was a kid.

Even after the food was done, and Shuichi took a quick shower, and an upperclassman from the school passed by the apartment to return his neglected bag, Kokichi was still asleep… But he couldn't eat without him. Maybe he was giving himself some sort of punishment for not recognizing that the boy was suffering earlier. There must have been a reason why he would avoid Shuichi like that, how couldn't he have noticed it?

Thanks to his anxiety, his attention was always on the sleeping teen, wanting to make sure he’s breathing. He sleeps so still that if it wasn’t for his chest that’s softly rising and falling, he looked so dead… especially with his pale complexion and dark under eyes. It was really different to when he was awake, he moved nonstop, was so loud, his expressions kept changing. Now he’s just laying there unmoving.

As Shuichi stared at the boy’s expressionless face, he noticed his eyebrows furrow, and his hands started twitching. What the… is he okay?

He never have seen someone have a nightmare before, is this what it looks like?

Shuichi held onto Kokichi’s hand, trying to comfort him from whatever he was going through. But that made the purple head’s eyes shoot open, making him hiss from the light attacking his face and closing his eyes again immediately.

“Who would turn on the lights while someone is sleeping in the room, how disrespectful.”

It seems Kokichi didn’t realize where exactly he was immediately, or assumed he was somewhere else, because after a couple of seconds of having an arm over his face he realized he was holding someone’s hand. He moved his hand a bit to make sure, and yep, someone was definitely holding on to it.

He removed his arm and sat up to see Shuichi, it looked like he expected it.

“Oh no…” Shuichi both wanted to laugh and cry from that reaction. “Why did Saihara-chan kidnap me to his house? And letting me sleep on his bed no less, didn’t know you were the type! Nishishi!”

If that isn’t the fakest smile he’s ever seen. But how did he know this was his house, and his bed? “Please cut it out, you can’t ignore what happened today. I need answers.”

Kokichi forced him to let go of his hand as he messaged it as if holding Shuichi’s hand was painful, “Woah! Need? You don’t need it you just want it, know the difference.”

“No I need it, or I wouldn’t be able to sleep. And I’m not letting you go until I get all the information out of you.”

“Oh my! Always wanted to be interrogated by Saihara-chan. Are you going to tie me up and rough up my body until I tell you everything? ‘Cause I gotta warn you, it’s not gonna work.” He crawled closer to Shuichi, their faces inches apart as his voice lowered. “I’ll only enjoy it.”

Shuichi was obviously flustered, but even more so frustrated. He put his hands on Kokichi’s shoulders and pushed him away, “That..” He took in a breath, “Isn’t going to work on me anymore. No matter how much you tease me, or how much you lie to drive me away. It’s not going to work.”

Kokichi’s face reset, blank as ever. And Shuichi could feel his shoulders drop, as he asked with an exasperated voice, “Why?”

He didn’t need to think before giving his answer, “Because I care about you.”

The shorter boy’s eyes widened, looking at his own eyes directly, as if inspecting any sign of a lie… but found none. “You’re such an idiot you know that?” he started, as his own hand raised up to hold Shuichi’s face affectionately. With how close they are, and the intimacy of the moment, Shuichi’s face tinted red at the way Kokichi was looking at him. “No matter where I end up, you’re always the same.” He stroked his cheek, and even though it felt like they were stuck at that moment for a while, it was only a couple of seconds before Kokichi pulled away.

The detective blinked, and started scolding his heart to calm down. He was acting so weird around Kokichi lately, he kept telling himself it’s because of the dreams, but that felt like a huge lie he’s telling himself.

When he looked up at the boy, rather than staring downwards. He saw him biting his thumb, “Okay, you win. But first before I tell you anything, you need to promise me something.” He lowered down his arm and looked at Shuichi “You don’t break promises right?”

“That’s… right. If I can help it.”

“Then make sure you can help it.” He never saw Kokichi look so serious before, he looked even more serious than the time he was playing the knife game. “No matter what happens, and no matter what I say, you’re not allowed to die.”

_“You’re going to die if you stay close to me.” _

He didn’t want him to die, so he was pushing him away? But it still makes no sense, why would Shuichi die, why was the world against him if he was close to Kokichi? Is Kokichi dangerous?

It didn’t seem like he had much of a choice, he had to promise if he wanted answers. He got this far and if he makes one mistake Kokichi will easily shut him off and find a way to run away.

“Alright, I promise.”

The other analyzed him again, before sighing. “Good…” He went back and leaned on the headboard of the bed. “Hey, Saihara-chan. Do you believe in destiny?”

Shuichi didn’t expect that question at all, but everything about Kokichi was unexpected. “I uh… not really? I believe people can go against their destiny, if it exists.”

The leader smiled, it didn’t seem fake at all this time. “I wish that was true, I was the same way y’know? Until I discovered I was destined to die this month.”

Kokichi was destined to die… this month?!

“Wh-what?”

“You heard me, I’m going to die soon. Poison, car accident, falling off a cliff? Who knows, but it’s already started. I’ve experienced so many near-death situations ever since the beginning of this cursed month.”

Shuichi couldn’t believe what he was hearing, Kokichi went through the same incident as this morning multiple times? “But how do you know that you’re supposed to die, who told you of this destiny?”

“Oh I’ve experienced it, this isn’t my first timeline.” Isn’t his first timeline? “Fun fact! I’ve went through this same month seven times. Can you guess how many times I died Saihara-chan?”

Well, if this was his seventh then… “Six?”

“Bzzt! Wrong! The answer is zero! I never died because a certain idiot keeps sacrificing himself for me. So I keep repeating this month, stuck in a time loop, until I die as the world wants me to so badly.”

To an outsider, this story would sound ridiculous. But to Shuichi, it made everything make sense. The reason why Kokichi was distancing himself so much, lying about hating him, having a breakdown after they were almost hit by a mysterious object, and most importantly the reason why Shuichi has been having those dreams that focused on protecting Kokichi.

“I’m the one who kept dying instead.” There was no doubt in his statement, everything connected together so well.

Kokichi nodded, looking a bit out of it for second as he stared at nothing. Then he looked back at him, “But this time you promised you wouldn’t, right?” his eyes narrowed in a threat, similar to the way Maki’s eyes would whenever she got angry.

“But… If I don’t die you’ll die instead.” He knows he promised, but… he can’t just let the other die.

“Damn it, you’re stubborn. I thought it would be easy to just go back in time and make you hate me enough, but you still somehow always manage to protect me.” He put a hand to his forehead, as if to stabilize himself. “I hate liars, so you better not go back on your promise.”

“Didn’t you already hate me though?”

“...” Kokichi didn’t have a response to that, Shuichi knew he was lying earlier but he needed to make sure. His silence was all the evidence he needed.

“Did you tell me about all of this? In previous timelines I mean.”

“No, I have no idea what compelled you to come to me this time.” He came to Kokichi because of the dreams, is this the first time he has had them? “I messed up and let you drive me into a corner until I told you the truth… So here you go. Take of it as you will.” The boy sighed, his head leaning downwards as his hair swayed a bit. He looked so tired even after all that sleeping. “Anyway, I feel like trash and probably look like trash. So I’m going to go take a shower.”

The leader didn’t even ask where the shower was, as he jumped out of the bed, casually opened Shuichi’s closet, took some clothes and towels then left the room.

It was like Kokichi has done this a million times before, it made Shuichi wonder what has happened in the previous timelines. If Kokichi didn’t distance himself all that time and they continued to hang out as friends, what could’ve been different to the point the boy would take a shower in his house?

Maybe he’s thinking too much into it.

_Dinner probably froze by now…_

* * *

There was a lot of unexpected things about Kokichi, that much was obvious to the detective from the moment he met him on his first day at Hopes Peak. But he didn’t expect seeing the boy fresh out of the shower, in his clothes, to have this much of an effect on him.

It was just very intimate, with the way they were eating dinner together (It was midnight but he decided to brush that aside and revel in the moment.)

“You’re acting weird.” Kokichi said while his cheek was full of rice, his hair was still a bit wet making it unable to float like it usually does, and the black shirt was way too big on him but he didn’t care. Shuichi felt his heart leap out of his chest again. “Don’t blame you, I said a lot of weird shit today.”

Oh was Kokichi off the mark on that one, Shuichi was very surprised by the story, but as a detective it was nice to finally figure everything out and have it all connect. He believed him completely somehow, maybe because Kaito and Kaede always believed in things like this.

“Do you know what day it is, Saihara-chan?”

It was past midnight… but he knew exactly what the boy was referring to. He mentioned dying this month, but this month is on… “The last day of August.”

“Seems like you’ve caught on!” Kokichi cheered and clapped his chopsticks together. “Isn’t it weird though, for me to be stuck in a time loop in August of all months. The odd one out other than February.”

“You mean… with how it ends on 31st rather than 30th?”

“Yep! Poor August, to be the one breaking the pattern.” He was smiling this whole time, he didn’t look sorry at all. “But that’s a lie, I don’t feel bad for it at all. If anything I think it shouldn’t exist.” Kokichi stuck the chopsticks in his hand into the rice when his voice leaned more to anger, but he was still smiling, and that made the scene all the more terrifying.

Chills ran down Shuichi’s spine, but he didn’t blame Kokichi for it. The guy has gone through the same month seven times now and watched his classmate die by the end of each loop, that is bound to drive anyone mad. What’s even more insane is how Shuichi hadn’t noticed the sudden differences in his personality at the beginning of this month.

Kokichi had straight-up ran away from him when he approached him, that was all types of weird. But Shuichi immediately assumed he did something wrong instead of investigating.

The leader blinked, seeming to notice his weird behavior and Shuchi’s concerned expression. Then he smiled again, “Oh sorry! Don’t know what happened to me there!”

That only made Shuichi sadder. Even when Kokichi believes he is going to die in the next 24 hours, he won’t tell him the truth about anything, not even his feelings. The only truth he got was because they had a deal for Shuichi to try and not die.

Will he answer him truthfully if he asked? He probably won’t but… it’s worth a try.

“Ouma-kun? Why did you say the school was the most dangerous, did something happen there?”

Kokichi’s eyes widened a bit, probably not remembering he slipped that bit of information during his breakdown earlier. He swallowed his food roughly, “Uh, if I survive till the very end of the month the school explodes.”

That somehow shook him, “Wh-what? The world needs you to die so badly to the point the school explodes?” He didn’t even have the appetite to eat anymore at the thought, “Was anyone else inside?”

“No, it was just me after school. Nothing bad used to happen to me there so in the previous loop I thought since Saihara-chan isn’t around and I survived that long, maybe I could cheat death and survive this month.” Shuichi’s throat tightened, Kokichi didn’t want to die… makes sense how he would survive this long if he really did believe it’s his destiny and unavoidable like he keeps claiming. “But then the place caught on fire, and I swear Saihara-chan appeared out of nowhere and took me out before the place exploded with him in it…

“No matter what I do, you always appear and die instead. Just why? I thought it happened in the first original timeline because we were-” Kokichi sensed that he was voicing his thoughts then cut himself off, _they were what?_ “… anyway, don’t follow me after I leave. You promised to stay alive.”

Shuichi only nodded, because he knew if he said anything Kokichi would catch him in his lie. There was no way the raven will just sit aside as an important friend is in danger.

He looked back at his food because he can’t meet Kokichi’s eyes anymore, his mind made up.

_ “I’ll try to not break the promise but… I’m going to protect you no matter what.” _

* * *

The soft sound of a door closing is what gave him the signal to carry out his plan, Kokichi talked about staying alive, but didn’t mention anything about following him in the promise. So technically he’s not breaking it, right?

In a weird way, he was starting to think just like him.

Shuichi waited for a couple of minutes before leaving the house himself, stalking Ouma Kokichi of all people will be a really hard plan to execute (if not impossible for Shuichi in the past). The leader, true to his talent, is usually very aware of his surroundings and can predict your every move. However, at the moment Kokichi is very emotionally unstable, he can mask his emotions no matter what he’s going through but it was a harder thing to manage when you’ve went through so much trauma. As much as that fact saddens him, it gave Shuichi hope that he will be able to protect him throughout the day without him noticing.

Shuichi was dead set on protecting him, and finding a way so that both of them survive this mess. Screw what destiny wants.

As the shorter boy walked around the suburban area they lived in, things started to get strange. Pit warning signs falling as if they didn’t want Kokichi to see them, and street lights going off as he went near them. It was terrifying, and to think Kokichi actually had to go through this multiple times before is even worse…

They ended up getting out of the small town, trees surrounding them. Some of them even trying to fall on the leader but he dodged them easily. It took every bit of strength inside Shuichi to not make a sound and scream his name.

And then finally, after what felt like an hour of walking, they reached their destination.

The sunset cliff…

_ “Do I have to be blindfolded?” Shuichi struggled to not trip and fall as the leader guided him, his small soft hand holding onto his. It was surprising how warm it was when usually people would complain about Kokichi touching them with freezing hands during the winter. _

_ “Yes! Or the surprise wouldn’t be a surprise anymore, so absolutely no peeking!” _

_ He couldn’t see anything, Kokichi’s scarf was tied way too well on his head and around his eyes. He only got to glance at how smaller his form looked without it, and how his uniform barely even covered his neck and even showed his collarbone. _

_ “Aaaand we made it!” He felt the other guide him to sit down on what felt like a bench. _

_ “Um, can I take it off now?” _

_ “No! I’ll take it off when I wanna.” Shuichi didn’t understand why the place needed the timing to be perfect too but he didn’t question it, this was Kokichi after all, who knows what he’s thinking. _

_ Suddenly, that same soft hand that was holding his earlier, touched his resting hand on the bench and slowly intertwined both hands together. Shuichi felt his breath hitch as his heart rate sped up making his face grow considerably red. “Ouma-kun?” He asked, but it took a couple of moments until he heard the other’s voice. _

_ “You know Saihara-chan, it was really bold of you to trust me to this extent, I cause nothing but trouble, so what made you agree to something like this?” _

_ That… kind of scared Shuichi. As if the other is planning his murder or something, taking him to the tip of a cliff to push him off. But after the times they spent together at school, he knew that Kokichi wouldn’t harm him. He threatened to kill him, only to make him win on purpose by the end of it. _

_ And… observing how he was with everyone else too. The guy never meant any harm, only wanted fun and laughter. Others like Kaito might misunderstand his intentions and get mad at him, and Shuichi did too at first, but then people like his seniors knew that Kokichi was just being playful and actually liked his personality. _

_ For a detective too, Kokichi was a mystery that he wanted to solve, and even if he will never be able to fully solve this puzzle the boy just never bored him. He was full of surprises, he made his dull life brighter. _

_ There were just so many reasons. _

_ “Because I know you’d never harm me, you’re my friend Ouma-kun. I care about you.” Somehow, a part of his answer didn’t seem right. He didn’t know what exactly he failed to portray with his feelings. _

_ He did care about Kokichi, he does know that he’d never harm him, so what’s the problem? _

_ Before he can think it over, a hand reached out and untied the scarf around his head. Shuichi slowly opened his eyes, trying to adjust to the brightness of the sunset in front of them. _

_ After blinking a bit, a weight settled on his shoulder. He didn’t need to look to know where it was from. _

_ It made him turn into the same colour as the pink and orange sky. _

_ “Funny, I never thought anyone would consider me a friend, but here I am being greedy and wanting to be more than that.” _

_ Huh????? _

_ He turned his head a bit too look at the boy laying on his shoulder, then glanced downwards at their intertwined hands making his heartbeat go crazier. “What… do you mean?” _

_ Kokichi lifted his head up and looked straight at him with a smile that bore into his soul, then flicked his forehead. _

_ “Ow, what was that for?” _

_ “For being both a blessing and a curse.” _

_ With that he left Shuichi to his confusion, hugging his arm with his head back on the detective’s shoulder as they watched the sunset. _

Extreme headache, was all he felt as he came back to reality. Where he was standing behind tree clutching onto his head as it felt like it was splitting open.

What was that?

That… memory, that moment with Kokichi, it never happened.

He would never forget a memory like that, he never even have been to this cliff before. Shuichi wasn’t the type to go outside and explore so he was always at home or at school, he never knew of the existence of a cliff over what seemed like a goddamn ocean. So why in the world does this place feel so familiar, why does he have memories of Kokichi bringing him here, why do they feel so real?

His head is going to actually kill him.

There was no way to check where that memory came from, so it’s probably not real… or, it happened to him in a different timeline.

Well, it’s not like he can do anything about it at the moment. He needed to watch over Kokichi.

He started searching for where the other went, only to find him sitting at the edge of the cliff. And that’s when alarms rang in Shuichi’s head, full on blasting his ears with nonexistent loud sirens.

The detective has witnessed it, the world’s wrath, how it was trying to kill the boy. The falling trees after him, the falling mysterious objects, he wouldn't even be surprised if a meteor headed towards him out of nowhere. If Kokichi is going to sit on the edge like that it will definitely collapse under him, he can’t… Shuichi won’t allow this.

As predicted the ledge started to crack, and within a matter of seconds Kokichi was going to start falling. He didn’t even flinch, and Shuichi, as he watched everything unfold in slow motion, screamed at his legs to move and ran. When the leader had started to fall the detective was there to hold onto his arm on time. It hurt like hell to try and hold someone with such a weak body, even with Kaito’s training that made him considerably stronger, Shuichi wasn’t that strong.

It took a moment for Kokichi to realize he’s not falling, and his head snapped up so he meets familiar golden eyes. They were both taken aback, Kokichi by the fact Shuichi is here, and Shuichi by the fact the normally mischievous violet eyes were currently on the brink of tears.

“Saihara! What are you doing here, you promised!”

“I’m sorry Ouma-kun, I can not stand by and watch you die. Even if it costs my life, I won’t allow it.”

“Idiot! Saihara-chan's truly an idiot!” Kokichi said as his tears started falling, “I told you- I told you not to be associated with me! But you never listen! Every time, I have to watch you die because of- because of me!”

The wind suddenly started getting stronger, and stronger… It was a like a storm was heading their way, wanting everything to be over. The air turned freezing, and he can hear the water clash down the cliff. It was getting harder to hold up Kokichi by the second, Shuichi’s arms hurt like hell, as if they were being stretched under the boy’s force.

“Ouma-kun… I think there’s a misunderstanding.”

Kokichi’s protests didn’t stop, “Just let me go! Get this over with and live!”

“If destiny is set in stone like you said, and I was the one who kept dying. Then isn’t it my destiny to die for you Ouma-kun? Isn’t it obvious that it’s the reason why you can’t change it?”

The shorter boy shook his head, “N-no! I’m the one who-”

“You’re lying to yourself, you put yourself in an endless time loop because no matter what happens, I’ll die protecting you.”

“Stop! I don’t understand why you keep doing this, we haven’t even spoken in this timeline so why?!”

The wind got stronger, and Kokichi was swaying dangerously, “That’s wrong, it may have been months for you, but it’s been only a month for me. Staying away from me for one month won’t erase all of my memories with you, Ouma-kun. It won’t erase the years we spent together in this academy, and it won’t erase our bond. So I’m sorry… but this isn’t a promise I can keep.” Shuichi smiled sadly, and the leader’s eyes widened in horror. Before the other can protest, he gathered all the energy he had left in his body and with the rush of adrenaline and desire to protect the purple head, he was able to throw him back up the cliff, but of course with every force there’s a counter force and that force pushed Shuichi backwards as he dropped instead onto the cold icy water below.

The splash was obviously painful, and the cold water made it even worse, but miraculously he lost consciousness immediately. Maybe going through this all of a sudden was too shocking for his body to comprehend and register, so he had a few moments to himself underwater.

At this point, he felt numb, save for the emotional pain. He didn’t regret his choice one bit but… Hurting Kokichi like this, he really wished that there was another way.

He apologized to everyone in his life that he has suddenly left behind, and hoped that in the next timeline he wouldn’t be as useless.

Well, at least the dreams where he’s drowning make sense now.

* * *

Kokichi was frozen beyond belief on top of the cliff, his hands and knees digging into the dirt where his beloved was just a couple of seconds ago. The wind felt like it was tearing his skin with daggers, and his eyes were turning into ice because he can’t close them from shock.

“Ah...ahha…” he started shaking, “AHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHA” Laughter bubbled from within him as he started losing his sanity due to how many times he has experienced this. He had to watch Shuichi die in front of him, again, and again, and again, and again-

And it happened again...

It was only a matter of seconds until his grin shattered and his tears cascaded onto the dirt, “I promise…” he dug his fingers into the ground beneath him, not caring for how painful it was. “No matter what becomes of me, I’ll save you. I_ will_ be the one to die next time… Shuichi.”

* * *

Darkness.

It was scary to some, comforting to some, and some felt indifferent.

Shuichi wasn’t afraid of the darkness, maybe when he was a kid, but as he grew up he found out that there’s nothing to really be scared of. If anything he considered himself to be one with the darkness, it’s where he belonged. After all, nothing is scarier than life itself.

Maybe that’s why his uncle kept calling him emo.

The darkness he found himself in this time though… was different. He was covered in it, and he couldn’t breathe, but for some reason… he felt like he didn’t have the need to.

“He really loves you, doesn’t he.”

A voice echoed starling Shuichi from his thoughts. The detective tried to respond, say anything return, but his voice was gone like seafoam dissolving in the ocean.

_ “Who are you?” _

He tried to ask but didn’t hear himself saying it at all. The voice, on the other hand, seems to have heard him, or read his thoughts somehow.

“Oh sorry I didn’t introduce myself, I have no name really. I’m just an angel that descended to observe humans. You see… I was the one that let your boyfriend be able to rewind time to save you.”

_ “He’s not my boyfriend.” _

“Oh, but he was, in the original timeline that is.” An image of Kokichi backtracking on his words flashed through his mind, “You two were dating for a while before you tried saving a kidnapped little girl, and you got stabbed protecting him. I found him in deep despair in a hospital after he had lost you, and was desperate to find any way to save you. Even if it meant experiencing the same month again and again.” So he thought Shuichi died for him because they were together, huh.

Even though he most probably didn’t have a heart or a body anymore, that information stirred a bunch of emotions from within him, Kokichi was definitely saying the truth about going through the same month multiple times and seeing Shuichi die by the end of it.

“You see, Saihara, destiny is indeed set in stone. In this world at least, there are many worlds out there. No matter what you do to try and change it, the outcome will still be the same.”

_ “Then if that’s the case, was I right? I’m destined to die for Ouma-kun? Is that the reason why he can’t change it?” _

“You are correct, but he was dead set that he was the one supposed to die instead.”

So all this time, it was actually his destiny and Kokichi was blaming himself for it...

“In this timeline, you promised to not die, and a part of you really wanted to keep that promise. That’s why your soul is still holding on long enough in limbo for me to give you a choice.”

Is there a chance for them?

“If destiny can’t be changed in this world, then you will need to restart everything and go to an alternate universe.”

_ “An alternate universe?” _

“Yes… The events of what happened in this world have damaged Ouma’s mentality permanently, he has been suffering from nightmares, he can not sleep, and is extremely paranoid and constantly tired. For six months… And now after what just happened, he’s not afraid of death if it means him not experiencing these emotions again. As humans say, it’s all downhill from here. And the only solution is creating an alternate universe, which will make him forget everything.”

_ “Then please, please save him.” _

“But that includes you. And you will forget about him too. There’s no guarantee that you will meet in the alternate universe, or end up together like you did in the first timeline.”

Oh, so if he decides to not take the offer, he will still remember Kokichi up till the beginning of the month and the other will have to go through the time loop again until Shuichi dies. But if he takes it, then an alternate universe will be created where their destinies are different but they will forget about each other completely.

The answer was obvious.

_ “As much as I treasure all these moments with Ouma-kun, and the feelings I have… I’m willing to sacrifice everything to free him from this cycle of torture.” _

“Very well, I believe you have made the right choice. People who were lovers in a past life may end up together again in the next. I wish you two good luck.”

Lovers… All this time the feelings Shuichi has been having towards the boy, and all the affection and desire to be closer, and fascination. Has blossomed to love and he hasn’t noticed it. No wonder calling him a friend felt wrong, no wonder Kokichi called him a curse.

He discovers these feelings now, after his death, when he can’t hold Kokichi in his arms, when he can’t tell him about how he felt.

It was too late for regrets, when he is going to forget these feelings and all about the other boy soon, all he can do is think about him, wanting to cry but can’t, as he was engulfed by a bright light.

* * *

“Saihara-kun… Saihara-kun?” A soft familiar voice called out to him, a voice that he knew all too well, and always helped him calm down. Shuichi slowly opened his eyes, and saw his best friend looking at him worryingly. “Are you alright?”

He straightened his back and rubbed his neck, sleeping on a desk was never a good idea. But what can a college student that can barely get any sleep to begin with do anyway? He has started falling asleep literally everywhere.

“Yes? I’m always sleeping Akamatsu-san, and you’re no different.”

“Hey, I am different. I wake up on time at least.” she pouted, “but that’s not the point here, I don’t think you’ve noticed it but you’ve been crying in your sleep…”

“Wait what,” his hand touched his cheeks, and indeed they were damp. “Huh… that’s weird.”

“Did you have a dream?” She asked as she picked up her white backpack, ready to leave this torture chamber already.

“It does feel like I had one, I just don’t remember it.” He tried recalling, but nothing came to his head. If anything it was giving him a headache. “It may just be allergies from the season or something, my biggest concern right now is the exam next week.” He said as he packed up his stuff as well and got up with his grey bag.

“Don’t remind me…” She shivered, “All those schools saying that if you graduate from them you’re set out for life are lies, complete lies…”

“No such school exists Akamatsu-san.” He chuckled as she grumbled more, all that studying can take down any person huh? But still, this conversation was reminding him of some school, a school that sets you out for life… He could swear it existed, was he imagining things?

The sun was setting as they made their way to the subway station, and Shuichi wondered again why sunsets felt so bittersweet. Normally these types of feelings connect to things due to past experiences, but he can't remember anything big relating to sunsets.

Maybe he just watched them from his room as a kid, back when he was so lonely and his parents were practically nonexistent (they still are.)

When they reached the subway the two had to separate as usual, saying see you tomorrows as she entered the train leading to her house while he took the one leading to his apartment.

The ride home was peaceful, just him with his thoughts as usual. It may be considered a boring lifestyle to some, but he was happy with the way things are.

He fumbled in his pocket to get the keys out, and when he finally was able to, Shuichi sighed as he opened the door, wanting to go headfirst to bed already.

"I'm ho- WAH!" his plans seemed to have been thrown out the window, as someone threw their body all over his the moment he entered the apartment.

He can smell his uncle's cooking, "Welcome home, your boyfriend entered from the window again." his uncle called out from the kitchen. It was right around the corner in their little flat so it wasn't that hard to hear him.

He looked down to see the fluff of purple hair rubbing all over his chest like some touch starved cat, “Shumai, your uncle is such a big meanie. How could you leave me here with him?!” Crocodile tears stained his cheeks, Shuichi knew they were fake but wiped them away anyway.

“He appeared in the kitchen and almost made me drop my knife, troublemakers like him need to be disciplined.”

“You didn’t need to bonk my poor little head, I’m a soft boy y’know!”

“Soft boys don’t climb buildings like thieves.”

“Shu-chan! Tell him how soft I am!”

Even though he was on the floor, leaning on the front door with his bag uncomfortably on his back and the weight of his boyfriend on his chest. Shuichi burst out laughing.

“H-hey! Are you mocking me? I knew it! You’re just like him!”

From a rush of affection towards the boy on him, he wrapped his arms around his torso and pulled him closer to a hug.

The waterworks and shouting stopped immediately.

“I didn’t know you were coming today, thought you were busy.” Kokichi really was soft, with or without his iconic oversized hoodie, it felt like hugging a plushie. Shuichi couldn't help but bury his face in the boy's hair, and it made him even happier to feel Kokichi relax into his touch.

“I am busy, those exams are killing me.” He mumbled into his chest, “As much as I love animals, I’m starting to regret the vet career. Ughhh.”

Shuichi was a bit taken aback by the boy’s honesty, but it just means he must be really tired. “You're smart and have already come this far Kokichi, and if you don’t like it then it’s never too late to start a new path. Though… I know you want to have any excuse to touch any cat or dog in this world.”

“But biology sucks ass! Why do I need to learn the circulatory system of a fish for this?!”

“If you’re about to give up remember the reason you started, since most of the time you just have to go through unpleasant things to reach your goal you’ll need to keep reminding yourself as to why you’re trying so hard to reach that goal in the first place.” Suddenly a voice from behind them spoke, making both boys look at the man. “So hugs shut you up huh? I’ll keep that in mind.”

Shuichi chuckled at his uncle appearing out of nowhere like that, he always said a similar motivational speech to Shuichi whenever he was about to give up on a case. It was exactly what Kokichi needed to hear right now.

“Nuh-uh! Only hugs from my Shu-bear!”

Shuichi's uncle rolled his eyes, “Anyway, dinner's ready and I’m not reheating it. So get up and come eat.”

“Oh my god yes I’m so hungry-” Kokichi was freed from Shuichi's hold, and the college student already missed it. But he shook his head and got up as well from the floor.

Dinner with Kokichi was always more fun than eating alone, Shuichi would often compare these types of meals where he was with friends to when he was alone in his parents' house with a bunch of sticky notes from them. He didn’t mind being alone, and he knew his parents were just busy with their jobs, but it made him grow up being bitter to how his childhood was so lonely.

When they finally finished eating, the two went to brush their teeth and Kokichi complained about the toothpaste Shuichi used because it’s not sugary at all. Turns out Kokichi uses those sparkly toothpaste made for kids, it was a miracle that it actually keeps his teeth white despite them not being as strong as normal toothpaste.

And in Shuichi’s room, Shuichi finally decided to ask Kokichi the question that has been on his mind all this time.

“Kokichi, you didn’t tell me why you came here yet. Our homes are hours apart, there must be something.”

“What, I’m not allowed to see my boyfriend and escape reality now?”

The raven blushed, he still can’t handle Kokichi calling him his boyfriend. “No, it’s just… You’re busy, you have an exam in a few days. Are you really that stressed?”

Kokichi sighed and laid back, laying on the bed with his legs dangling off. “Shu-chan, do you remember how we met?”

“How could I not? I landed in the hospital right after I first saw you.” It was faint but he could see Kokichi wince from his words, his face scrunched up just a tiny bit.

“It was my first day in this city so I was an idiot that didn’t pay much attention, and all of a sudden I get pushed by a stranger who then got hit by a goddamn car for me.” He sighed, “I didn’t know you, but the moment I saw your face my heart twisted so painfully I felt like I couldn’t breathe, and before I knew it, I was crying as I told someone to call the ambulance. Trying my best to keep you alive and give you oxygen.”

He didn’t know this bit of information before so Shuichi was surprised.

From his perspective, he was walking home from school when he crossed paths with Kokichi who was a stranger at the time. For some reason, he couldn't keep his eyes off of him, and when he noticed he missed the stop sign he ran to push him out of the way.

In the hospital, he woke up to find that same stranger waiting for him to wake up, and honestly he thought he was dead and an angel was next to him thanks to all the bright light.

They somehow became friends after that despite living in two different cities, due to Kokichi saying that he needed to give his number to his guardian angel. And after all the late-night texts complaining about school and talking about the most random things all day, they started visiting each other more and eventually Shuichi realized that all of those emotions he kept dealing with was because he had fallen in love.

Shuichi remembers all of those events fondly and didn't care that he had to break some bones in the process. The amount of love he had for the boy surprised even him, so he would break even more for Kokichi.

He reached out a hand and held Kokichi’s own because it looked like he wasn’t doing well talking about it. Maybe unlike him, the car accident horrified him.

“It felt like destiny, like we were going to meet no matter what because this stupid stranger will always protect me.” Kokichi sat up and looked at Shuichi, his hand tightening around him, “but I’m scared, I don’t know why I can’t shake off this feeling. That one day you’re just going to leave me, and I won’t be able to see you anymore.”

That’s when Shuichi noticed, that the boy’s shoulders were shaking a bit.

“Is that the feeling you had today?”

Kokichi nodded, “I jumped into my car because I needed to make sure you’re alright. It’s so unlike me, to act on my emotions…” the purple head smiled, but his eyes reflected sadness and fear.

“Hey, it’s alright. I’m here.” Shuichi reached out and pulled the boy into a hug, Kokichi quickly melting into it, sighing in the process.

“When we finish our exams… Can we…” It was always rare to hear Kokichi sound so hesitant. “Never mind, this is stupid.”

“Live together? Yes.”

Kokichi’s head immediately sprung up to look at him, “Since when do you have mind-reading powers??” he blinked, “Wait did you just agree to-”

“Yes, I want to live with you Kokichi.” The boy’s face was blank as he stared and stared. When Kokichi first did that on their first kiss, he thought he broke the boy. “Are you going AFK on me?”

No response, but Shuichi knew how to get him to talk again. His free hand trailing at the hem of Kokichi’s hoodie as a threat if he doesn’t break out of it soon.

“P-pfff.” Kokichi jumped backwards as soon as Shuichi’s fingers tingled his skin. “You’re not pulling that cheap trick on me again!”

He really loved how Kokichi would writhe under him quaking with laughter, but decided to have mercy on him today since he wasn’t feeling so well.

Shuichi scooted closer to the boy that backed away from him, and with it he noticed his red face and the smile he’s most probably not aware of. When he sensed how much closer Shuichi has got to him, he turned his head even more so that their eyes don’t meet.

But of course, that didn’t stop the detective from turning the boy towards him.

“Man, can’t get a second to myself?” Kokichi pouted, it was obvious he was just being playful as the other pulled him closer.

“You're in my room, with me. So no.”

Kokichi giggled, “Oooh I see, Shumai really wants my attention.”

Shuichi buried his face in Kokichi’s neck instead of responding, knowing it will make his boyfriend even more flustered.

“You’re like a puppy, nishishi!” He was doing a good job hiding it, but Kokichi always had a talent for hiding his emotions.

After a moment of comfortable silence as the two forgot all their worries and just cuddled, the purple head mumbled something into his chest and Shuichi understood absolutely nothing.

“Repeat that?”

Kokichi groaned and raised his head to look at him, his cheeks were considerably darker despite his glare and furrowed brows. It didn’t take Shuichi a second to figure out what the boy has said.

“You don’t deserve those words from me if your ears are-”

“I love you too, Kokichi.” His face turned even darker as he stopped talking and hid his expression on Shuichi’s chest again, making the taller boy’s heart skip a beat from just how adorable his boyfriend is and completely engulfing him in a hug.

“We should tell your uncle about this.” Kokichi mumbled as he was being squished in Shuichi’s embrace. The raven just really loved having him close.

Shuichi pressed his lips to the shorter boy’s forehead, “Later. I’m tired and you’re stuck with me until I’m able to think straight again.”

For now he just wanted Kokichi as close as possible, it might be clingy but he was relishing in the feeling that he was safe with him. His heart was filled with so much adoration and affection and he wanted to somehow show it, and Kokichi was happy to oblige despite the obviously flustered expression he’s trying to fight off.


End file.
